Step Into Life

STEP INTO LIFE
For a decent job, a candidate is interviewed normally in the spheres of his intelligence, memory, reflex action, and common sense. Intelligence means the capacity to reach the correct target faster than the others. Example: Today’s temperature is 0 degrees Celsius, and tomorrow it would be double chill. What would be the temperature tomorrow? We all know what memory is. It is unfortunate that in the interviews conducted by us, some graduates cannot name at least four countries touching the Indian border. Reflex action means, how fast one can understand the question and how can he answer without any confusion, so that the interviewer can understand it. For example: who is the daughter of the mother in law of the father of the nation? Common sense means, minimum logical outlook towards life. If a cat breaks one leg when it jumps from one foot, how many legs will be broken when it jumps from five feet? If somebody says ‘five’ there is something wrong with his common sense in the veil of arithmetical accuracy. Intelligence is normally associated with mathematics and logic. To derive the answer for the first question, you should convert the temperature into Fahrenheit, double it and revert to Celsius. It works out to –8.888 degrees. For the third question, the answer is Kasturba Gandhi (assuming that she has no sisters). The cat may or may not break its leg depending on where and how it jumps. The answer for the fourth question is, “ I cannot tell.” When you don’t like your spouse, you may divorce, but once you are given a job, where the union is strong, you cannot be easily terminated. The employer may have to invest more than a crore of Rupees on you till your retirement. That is the reason why you are tested in various angles, particularly for highly professional and challenging jobs. It is the responsibility of the parents to create interest among their children in the above four spheres.

A D V A I T A M, a story by Yandamoori Veerendranath

A D V A I T A M

-- Yandamoori Veerendranath

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 This was written in Telugu by Yandamoori Veerendranath.
It is translated in to engligsh by Sarada.

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Bhanu murthy suddenly woke up. This dirty sound is disturbing him for the last so many days. The single stupid rat that somehow came into his house is chewing up everything in the house. He lay awake in his bed, unable to sleep. Slowly, without making a sound, he picked up the long powder tin nearby and in the dim light he aimed the tin at the rat. Bang !! The rat escaped alright but his four year old daughter woke up and started crying at the highest pitch. Now Bhanu murthy's wife Kamala scolded him that anyway it is not possible to hit the rat but she said she could not understand why he behaved so odd at midnights, knowing well that his daughter would give both the parents a nightmare, if disturbed in her sleep.
The side effects were many. The utensil where milk was kept overturned and that milk flowed freely on the floor. With a sigh Kamala put everything in somewhat orderly manner and went back to bed. Bhanu murthy could not sleep. He felt ashamed of his act. He lay awake for long time. At last near dawn he had some sleep and woke when the milkman knocked the door.
The day has started. The race to offices has begun. As Bhanu murthy reached his office, he could see several of his friends discussing something. The matter is like this. Bhanu murthy is the most senior who is waiting for a promotion since a long time. But the contender to Bhanu murthy is a politically powerful person even though he joined the office just four years back. He had gone to Hyderabad to move the matter with people; and the talk, it is very clear to Bhanu murthy, is aimed at this only. So far nothing has been heard. To turn the matter from becoming serious, Bhanu murthy put his problem before his audience. The rat is causing him so many sleepless nights. Some said the cage is the best to catch a rat because killing is not fair. And some felt that poisoning is better, because if you do not kill the rat, it will kill you slowly one day.
Somehow Bhanu murthy could not conclude what to do. The day passed pathetically for Bhanu murthy. His boss called and asked him to make a draft of certain letter. In his absent mindedness Bhanu murthy wrote 'riots' for 'ryots'. Irritated by this, the boss scolded Bhanu murthy left and right. He became more depressed by the time offices closed and took his way home. On the way he stopped by the medical store and purchased Zinc sulfide. The hunt has started. Despite this, at night the rat eluded the poison and ran freely in his house. Bhanu murthy's sleepless nights continued.
As he slept through the day break, one day Kamala woke him up saying that someone is making bad remarks outside on Bhanu murthy. He went out and found that the Kabuliwala who loaned him money is demanding it back then and there !! Bhanu murthy stood there, not knowing what to do. As the drama continued for sometime, the neighbor came to the rescue. His neighbor paid him rupees two hundred and advised " You should not get into these hands of Kabuliwallas. Once you get in, you are perished !! ". Bhanu murthy opened his lips to say that he knew it very well but then he shut his mouth thinking that this very gentleman saved him that morning. " Can there be a worse day ? " wondered Bhanu murthy.
He borrowed a rat cage from one of his colleagues and decided to set it for the rat that night. As he came home, his wife reported that the 'Mangal sutras' she kept on the table last night were missing !!. Without a word, Bhanu murthy decided that the rat is the culprit and started digging it's burrow. Whatever the time, after about two hours of hard work, he could find the Mangal sutras right below the burrow. But the rat is still not found. Now he relaxed with a sigh of relief. As he closed his eyes, his daughter came up and asked him whether he would like to eat a small laddu. With a surprise, he asked his little daughter as to where she got that laddu and demanded to know whether it is the maize flour she is wasting. His daughter said that she is not wasting the maize flour but she made those laddus from the flour Bhanu murthy bought from the medical shop to catch the rat.
He sprang up and the next four hours were the hectic times Bhanu murthy had ever faced in his life. The doctor at the medical wards said that a small stomach wash would be sufficient and gave her the wash and charged him rupees three hundred. Bhanu murthy had to pawn the Mangal sutras to get this money. As he left the hospital, his wife reminded him to ask the doctor how to use the medicine next morning. He came back alone and heard from behind the door, the doctor speaking to the nurse on duty " What a great income ! That girl ate maize flour only but when the parents demanded too much to know from her she got frightened and told that she ate the Zinc sulfide. As long as people like these are there, there are no problems for our business".
Shocked, Bhanu murthy came back. On his way, he told his wife " I think the rat had done a good job for us. Had it not taken the Mangal sutras, what else could we have pawned today ? "
Next day he reached his office and heard that his contender who had gone to Hyderabad had come back and anytime he could receive orders of promotion. Now the only course left to Bhanu murthy is to expect a transfer to an agency area where there are more rats. In his utter helplessness, he just worked on. As the afternoon progressed, a call came from his boss. He walked in and stood there as if to receive the final crucifixion. " Congratulations Bhanu murthy garu, for all the hard work you have been doing here, I have written a special recommendation for you and I am happy you got the promotion. More good news is that you will not be transferred anywhere. You will be just sitting in my seat and I will be moving out " he was told. He took the promotion orders and the hand of his officer, shook it and walked out as if in a dream. The word has already spread outside among his colleagues. Now they demanded a party from him. Bhanu murthy had no money to throw a party however small it is. So again another colleague loaned him some amount and with this, they made merry.
On his way back home, he stopped by the flower stall and purchased jasmines for his wife and sweets for his daughter. As he entered the street where his house is located, his daughter came running to him and announced " Nanna, the rat is about to die. The cat has attacked him. Come and see !! ". As Bhanu murthy made his way in, he could see the rat struggling to survive the attack of the cat. It was severely bruised and the skin had come off completely, but not dead yet. It looked at Bhanu murthy and the look is like the final farewell. Bhanu murthy stood there watching it. Now Kamala came out and heard her daughter saying " Amma, Nanna is crying ". And Kamala could see tears rolling down the face of Bhanu murthy.

INTELLIGENCE – MEMORY – REFLEX ACTION – COMMONSENSE APTITUDE TEST by Yandamoori Veerendranath

INTELLIGENCE – MEMORY – REFLEX ACTION – COMMONSENSE APTITUDE TEST

You may be highly knowledgeable. But can you stand out in utter confusion? Answer these questions quickly, say in not more than 5 seconds each, and test yourself. Once written, don’t change, alter or rub it again.

 

a)  If one hen lays 1 egg in one day, how many eggs do two hens lay in 2 days?

         1/ 2/ 3/ 4.

b)  There are 10 crows. One was killed with a banging sound by pistol. How many would be there?

          One / more than zero / none / can’t say.

c)  You are 16 years older than your sister who is 8 years now. How old will you be when you are twice as old as she?

              24/ 32/ 40/ 48.

d)  The question is not based on logic but arithmetic. If 4 hens lay 4 eggs in 4 days, how many eggs 2 hens lay in 2 days?

                  1/ 2/ 3/ 4/ 16/ 24.

e)  If A + B = A x B, then A must be 2, B must be 2… (2+2=2x2). Taking this as an example, find out the values of a, b, c, if a + b + c = a x b x c.............

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 ..Answers

a) Four eggs. There is chance of your making an error, if you are in a hurry to answer.

b) The correct answer is 'more than zero'. No.. Don't get irritated or confused. 'Zero' is also not correct answer, as the crows may go away by hearing the sound of the pistol. But if they are deaf? They cannot hear the sound, and they would stay. What happens if the dead crow is the beloved child of a mother crow? With this logical inference, we conclude. Any way one crow (dead) is going to be there and can me more also. Hence the correct answer is 'more than zero'

c) You are 24 now, After 8 years you would be 32 and she would be 16.

d) One egg. For a simple question of this nature, most students answer two eggs or four or zero. Analyze the question. If four hens lay in 4 days 4 eggs, then one hen in 4 days lays 1 egg; and one hen in 1 day lays 1/4th egg, and in two days it works out to 1/2 egg. Hence 2 hens give 1 egg in two days. Note that this is an arithmetic problem and not to be thought logically.

e) 1 + 2 + 3 = 1 x 2 x 3

WHEN SHOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE, an article by yandamoori veerendranath

WHEN SHOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE

People say,’ you want another heart to recognise your smile, and a shoulder you cry. That’s why one should love...!’ But if you look 2 inches down your left shoulder, you find the reason for your cry. Smash it and smile, the entire world starts loving you. Give love. Don’t expect it. It would come to you.                                   -0o0- 1. Target of love: Is it marriage oriented or just friendship? Normally 80% of first love, particularly that of girls, would be marriage oriented of which 50% does not end up there. 2. At what age one should fall in love? When you are ripe for marriage...! It is like selecting a car, which you are going to purchase after 5 years... Your tastes may differ when you are more matured...There can be new models by that time... Your opportunities may increase to select among various choices... Your financial status may increase so that you can afford a better car. (Many people do not agree with this theory arguing that love is not a mathematical equation. It just happens. 3.  There are 2 reasons for a boy or a girl to fall in love before marriage.  One is the body chemistry, which is physical. And another is psychological. Again there is a difference between the psychology of boy and girl in falling in love. A boy feels it’s a sense of achievement winning a girl. A girl falls in love because of the external influences like fiction novels and movies: “I am not the heroine if I do not fall in love” syndrome. 4.  Girls who lack affection in the house, particularly by their fathers normally fall in love.  It’s a “I am ok. But nobody in my house is o. k.” feeling. 5.  Falling in love, but still living with parents till your wings are strengthened and then fly off... Is it not a crime? Cheating them to spend their hard earned money on you and at the end, throwing the blame on them for not accepting your proposal? 6.  If the other partner has some difficulty in immediate marriage, why not write down a M.O.U or have registered marriage? 7.  In countries like Singapore, parents force the child to get married at the earliest by choosing a partner. 8.  Take inspiration from love, and work hard with a smile, rather than making it an unproductive waste of time. I asked a girl why you fall in love? She said, “Thee is no big reason. I have to walk a long distance from the bus stop to my house. By talking in cell phone while walking I can forget my fatigue”

Making of My-self, an article by yandamoori veerendranath

Making of My-self

Every person’s life is a book. If you don’t love your book, others dislike even to glance at it. Where do you keep it? Do you dump the book in a dark store room called lethargy and allow it to besiege by cobwebs of laziness
and decompose by apathy? Or do you keep it clean and orderly and be proud of  it.

To reach the peak of success, a person has to climb 100 steps. The first step is to know about his book i.e. strengths and weaknesses. Remaining 99 steps are not very significant. ‘Success’ has no full-stops, but commas
only. Make success your hobby.

Open your book read it frequently. Study it deep. There are no better lessons than your experiences to learn from. You ideals, standards, principles and ethics are the chapters. Arrange them properly, underline the reminiscences, correct the mistakes and rectify blunders.

Think about the climax for your book. Climax is your future goal, either temporary or permanent. Include the 4 D’s – Desire, Determination, Dedication and Discipline to reach the final ‘D’ called destiny.

Goals are to be achieved in fields like education, career, finance, reputation, family, spirituality and so on. Keep pages clean for a better script, basing on the wisdom acquired through your past experiences and encounters.

Your personality is the multi-coloured cover page. Paint it with ‘smile’.

The word personality is derived from a Latin word called “Persona” that means “Mask”. The page make-up must be excellent. The preface for your book is ‘enthusiasm’. Enthusiasm discriminates humans with animals. Loosing zeal is the biggest defeat in life. Small thrills enthuse. Go on exploring new ideas to make life more interesting.

What is the latest crazy adventure did you do recently? Sleeping on the terrace on a full-moon day, playing foot ball with hands, calculating the speed of a moving ant with a stop-watch and scale, sending all your family members to a movie and cook for them, skipping in the kitchen, playing tabla in the midnight for few minutes… is it not amusing?

Life is taking pleasure in today, to work for a comfortable and more cheerful tomorrow. If your life is not ‘good’ today, it cannot be ‘better’ tomorrow. Remove the words like struggle, hard, bore etc from your dictionary.

And finally, how is your book being marketed? Do other people enjoy reading it or just turning away the pages? Do they like the values, beauty, time-sense, humour, kindness and above all… your company? That is your story base and the title of the book is “Making of My-self”.

Smile please…, an article by yandamoori veerendranath

Smile please…

Why we forget to smile? Here is an example. You are already late by ten minutes to catch the train. You compel the auto driver to steer it fast. With every red light signal your blood pressure increases. You curse the vehicles crawling before you for not giving the way. And suddenly there is a traffic jam.  Your heartbeat stops for a while. Somehow you manage to reach station just one minute before the departure time. Unmindful of receiving the change from the auto driver, you run to the platform carrying your heavy baggage.... just to know that the train is delayed for an hour due to technical reasons. You curse yourself. Now you don’t know how to spend the time. The retiring rooms are full. You want to have a coke and reach out for your purse and traumatized. In a hurry to catch the train, you have forgotten it. The burning sensation in your stomach due to sudden release of acids irritates you further. You are desperate to contact a friend who stays nearby your house. He assures you to bring your purse. But your happiness is short lived as the time tickles. There is no trace of your friend. There comes the announcement of the arrival of the train. You are desperate.

The three virtues:

You would have avoided all the miseries had you started half an hour early (Time scheduling), kept every required article for the journey in advance (prerequisite prudence) and enquired about the time of arrival of the train (forthought). Scheduling, preparation and prudence play important role in our day-to-day life. A student ceases to smile as the exams approach. Had he started his studies two months in advance, or allotted ten minutes more time every day, from the beginning for his studies, he would have been more relaxed. Urgency is the first enemy to smile. Unfortunately it is our greatest addiction. Frustration is embedded in doing something that you don’t really want to do. Most frustrations usually stems from mistakes, errors or losses. Searching for the root cause of the problem when you feel frustrated is essential to end your confusion. Hence the word ‘education’ is derived from the Latin word ‘educe’, which means, ‘Know yourself’. Releasing frustrations Sports and other physical activities can be great ways to relieve stress, frustration, and other emotions. When you feel frustrated or angry it’s a good idea to release those feelings by expressing your-self physically or emotionally in a healthy way. Never share your frustrations with others, unless they are professionals or friends who can understand your problem. Eighty percent of people do not bother about your problems. The remaining enjoys listening to it. You are bound to do mistakes under tension and frustration. Here is a famous test. Try to find out how many ‘F’ are there in the following sentence.

FINISHED FILES ARE FINE FRUITS OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC DEEP STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

There are eight Fs in the sentence. If you could not find them, relax and recount. This is what we advise to the students when they go to exams. Don’t talk with anybody one hour before starting, smile while receiving the question paper, take a deep breath, forget about everything except the subject and start answering the paper. An industrialist made a surprise visit to his factory situated at the outskirts. He found a worker sleeping at the go-down entrance. Annoyed he asked how much was his present salary. ‘Thousand’ replied the worker. The owner threw two thousands at him and yelled, “don’t show your face from now. Get out. You are dismissed”.  After his departure, he turned towards his manager, who was looking confused hitherto, and enquired ‘Since how many years he is working with us?’“ He is not working with us sir. He is a delivery boy” obediently replied the manager.

Education is…, an article by yandamoori veerendranath

Education is…

“What remains after one has forgotten everything

That he learned in his school.”

     - Albert Einstein 

What is my qualification to write the book "SECRETS OF SUCCESS - What parents don't know, teachers never tell"?. Only one.  I failed my fifth class once and sixth again.  I was my grandfather’s pampered child.  When he expired, I went to live with my father.  I was in my sixth class (second year).  He started teaching me for an hour every day.  Next year in my seventh standard, I scored cent percent marks in mathematics and never looked back.  I have broken fifty years record of my high school at Hyderabad in final exam.  This is the reason why I started believing that an average boy (like me) can be trained to success.

Instead of creating fascinating interest towards education, parents unknowingly thrust it upon their children by constantly telling them to ‘work hard’,  I strongly believe that if a Student has interest in his studies, it is enough if he studies two hours a day at home.  I told the same perception to my son who is a State Ranker in his intermediate but joined as an industrial trainee at Nagarjuna Power Project for a stipend of 1500 per month.  That’s how he simultaneously completed his B.Com (Honors) studying part time in the evening college and completed C.A., then worked for two years in World Bank and went to France to do his M.B.A.  He is now a Business Executive with a salary of rupees four million per year at the age of Twenty-seven.  Appears to be self-audacity but by intention is to inspire the students “the pleasure of studying” and enjoying the success.  The happiness is surely better than watching an idiot box or thinking twenty-four hours about cricket.

As an executive of a Bank, though good at spoken English, I was poor in writing better English in spite of my writing abilities in Telugu as a novelist.  The THE HINDU city editor Sri Srinivasa Reddy asked me to write a column for his daily, I was thrilled but hesitant also.  THE HINDU is famous for its unblemished literary quality.  He encouraged me and I practiced.  The letters from the readers for past two years progressively gave me the confidence that by practice one can achieve something that he feels impossible at one stage.

With these intentions I started writing this book.  This book is meant for students who are willing to work smart, practice the principles and come out as ‘Bests’.  I don’t believe that all those who read this book would become an Einstein or Newton.  But I am sure, if you practice at least fifty percent of these techniques and apply the underlying philosophy, you would be one among the top five rankers of your institution.

There is every reason for you to have a doubt.  ‘Is it necessary to know everything so scientifically?  People of previous generations, were they not living in high spirits without learning all these motivation techniques and psychoanalysis?  Then where is the need?

Here is the answer.

Earlier the farmers grew their crops without any fertilizer support.  As there was no farming research, they could only sell whatever was left after the pests masticated.  Now we spend so much time and money on exploration of scientific knowledge pertaining to fertilizers and pesticides.  The research is for a more rewarding harvest and to meet the increasing demands.

Imagine that your balcony was various kinds of potted plants.  Some should be kept in bright sunshine and some others in a shade.  Some plants require less water and vice versa.  You know the plant physiology through the experience of your elders.  You add your scientific insight to it and transfer it to your subsequent generation. When the perception continues from one generation to next, it becomes ‘science’, philosophy’ and logic.  And that is called wisdom.

The formula applies to education, intelligence and memory techniques also.  With more complicated lives, phobias, frustrations and syndromes, students are more prone to various problems and require a methodical counseling.  That is the reason for these type of books.  My intention of writing this book is to mould you different from other students. Initially you find it tough.  But note that Abdul Kalam to Amitab Bachan underwent through the same phase.  Yes, I want you to grow to a stage on par with them.  The contents of this book are helpful not only for your studies, but in all fields of life including your games, sports, painting, music etc.,

Certain techniques and modus operandi suggested in this book may not be acceptable to some people and subject to their criticism.  I am not here to morals like, ‘study six hours a day, concentrate more, be a jewel for your country etc and gain appreciation from all.  I have written what I practiced.  If I write that I hardly went to barbershop since past twenty years.  It is because I enjoy trimming my hair and above it I started believing that people see what is ‘in’ my head rather than outside.  If I declare that you, particularly boys, need not apply coconut oil to your hair and it is enough if you wash it once in three days, it is true that I have been practicing the same since thirty years without getting any headache or my head becoming bald.  In the same fashion, my advice to drink lots of water and juices, suggestions like ‘One – day two Dawn Theory’ and Developing Concentration through motivating the Five Sensory Organs’ are all practiced by me.  I am thoroughly benefited by them and hence advocating the same to you.  Discard what you don’t like in this book and follow the other techniques.

Knowledge is what you gain that is necessary and wisdom is what you leave that is unnecessary.

Taken from Preface to the Book "Secrets of Sucess" (What Parents Don't know, Teachers never Tell)

A thought-provoking interaction, an article by yandamoori veerendranath

A thought-provoking interaction

"Are you a bachelor or unmarried?" is the question from Yandamoori Veerendranath.  Pat comes the reply from a college-going group: 'Un-married' and some say 'bachelor'.  Without going into the finer details of definitions of both words, broadly they mean that a person is not married.  Then why different replies are given?

It's a test to know how attentive people are, says Mr.Veerendranath.  The noted novelist and personality development expert conducted an interactive session here on Sunday for a group of people drawn from different cross-sections of society.  The programme was organised by Positive Thinkers Club marking the World Positive Action Day Celebrations.

To another query from the writer as to why students were studying, the response was stoic silence.

He had to identify individual students to come up with replies.  And, finally, he summed up all the responses.

Improving personality

Shooting another salvo, he asked: "Where do girls and boys meet in private in your city?" The gathering responded in unison: 'Rajiv Park' and the meeting hall reverberated with the laughter of one and all.

Narrating how a boyfriend would persuade his sweet-heart to stay for some more time, even as the latter desired to leave as she was getting late, Mr.Veerendranath came up with another question: "If God suddenly appears and tells the couple that I have to take away either of you.  It's a must.  What will they do?" Girls were quick to say: "The boy would ask the God take away the girl," and the response from the boys is anybody's guess.

Driving home the point that every person loves himself/herself more than anything on the earth and every person needed a brand, Mr. Veerendranath came up with four points that would enhance the personality of an individual and provide happiness.

A person required base to gain reputation, reputation to achieve, achievement for enhancing the net worth and net worth for reaping dividends (BRAND - Base, Reputation, Achievement and Dividend).

The more the net worth was gained, the more would be the base, he said.

Brain-teaser

During the hour-long lively interaction, almost all members in the crowd were participating actively.  Every one failed to respond to his brain-teaser on concentration.  He asked all to clap after he completed saying "your time starts now.  7 clap.  But, when he infused a few words into the statement or shouted 'SIX' loudly, people clapped and enjoyed the fun at their own cost.  He encouraged youngsters by gifting them with books authored by him.

KEEPING UP A PROMISE, an article by yandamoori veerendranath

KEEPING UP A PROMISE

This is an interesting story developed on Characters from Maha Bharata. Dharmaraja was known for honesty, fidelity and for not lying once in his life time. While gambling with his step-brother, he lost everything in betting and had to spend a year in disguise along with his four brothers and wife.

It was the last day of their camouflage. As they were preparing to come out of their concealment and return back to their kingdom, a beggar bowed before the Raja and asked for help.

“Come tomorrow. I promise to give you whatever you want” said the erstwhile king. Overhearing this Bheema went onto the top of a hillock and started shouting to the five elements (Panchabhootas) “Listen ! Here is a chance of my brother lying for the first time in his life”.

Surprised Dharmaraja asked him the reason. Bheema politely replied, “What is the affirmation that you would be the king by tomorrow? How were you so sure that both of you will live till you accomplish your promise? What is the guarantee that the beggar would remain as a beggar till tomorrow?”

Promise management:

Personality development motivators and writers give importance to Time management, Space management, Emotional balance, Stress management etc but somehow do not give due significance to developing the habit of keeping up promises.

Promise management is the foundation for character development. Promises may keep the relationships, but non-performance will turn them into enemies. Being trustworthy is a consistent process of choosing someone else's interests over your own. Not attending missed calls from friends or promising them to call back when you are busy and forgetting afterwards are few examples of mismanagement of relationships.

“Assure only what you can deliver and deliver more than what you assured” is an old proverb. But unfortunately we promise according to our hopes and perform according to realities. 

"Don't promise too much" is the first suggestion given to the newly married couples. Never make a promise to your spouse of lover that you cannot keep, no matter how much pressure you feel, no matter how critical the situation may be. When you can not carry out you may have to lie and you know that one lie leads to another. Kids hide a report card to put off the day of reckoning. It is like throwing today’s problem into tomorrow's court. We act exactly the same when we make an impossible promise.

 

Fulfilling a promise is an utmost pleasure that draws appreciation from others whereas broken promises are the symbols of incompetence leading to resentment, anxiety, hate and distrust.

Prompt payment of debt enhances your creditworthiness. Give margin of error while promising date of repayment as things may go wrong and unexpected difficulties may surface. Do everything to meet your word, but when that becomes impossible, admit your inability at the earliest (rather than on the due date). Instead of luring the creditor with false promises and irritating him for making rounds around you, commit the next exact date. Don’t lie to avoid the crisis and to get temporary solace. A lie is the mother of another hundred lies.

Avoid false promises:

Relationships are built on trust and commitments, but unfortunately many people take their friends and spouse granted. A small lie about a purchase, a cover-up for a forgotten birthday takes a bite out of their confidence and over years the foundation of trust begins to crumble.

A husband who promises his wife everyday to come home early but never turns up, should realise that his promise has two-way effect, firstly on his wife for waiting for long hours and feel frustrated; and secondly on him as he feels harassed by her repeated phone calls.

If somebody is promising paradise on earth, consider that he is going to create hell for you. On the other side, if you find that you are regularly breaking promises either on your punctuality or in financial matters, analyze the reasons for your attitude. A broken promise suggests three things:

1. That the person to whom you promised is not a priority in your scheme of things. 2. With a limitless desire for approval, you are trying to please too many people beyond your capacity. 3. You do not perceive your promise important enough to be kept.

No person in this word is busy, only we have different priorities. It happened in my life. When I knew that my friend was critically ill in a hospital, I rang up to him and told that I would meet him next day. I could not make it due to my busy shooting schedule. Two days later he died. I could never forgive myself.

Last week we were discussing ‘promise management’. Every promise is based on a faith. Do you remember elementary school poem on Casablanca, “The boy stood on the burning deck... Whence all but he had fled...” (During the Battle of the Nile, a captain of the ship asks his 12 year old son Casablanca to wait till he returns. The ship catches fire but the boy stands on the deck, does not move an inch and dies in flames).

Every contract, business deal and commerce in this world runs on a single word “Promise”. But before all else, we need to keep those promises when it comes to smaller things like spouse, parent and child relationships. To sooth their tempers many parent say “I promise..." and later forget about it. But children have a great memory especially with promises.

“Promises are like crying babies in a theatre. They should be carried out at once” said Norman Vincent Peale. When you keep up your promises, you happen to be a good spouse. you are liked and respected for your word. You turn out to be a good business partner. Opportunities open up. And above all you can carry a clean conscience and avoid stress.

Time and promise management:

A person’s attitude can mainly be judged by his punctuality and respect for other’s time. If you lie to escape from your promised time and later caught red-handed, it leads to more embarrassing and ugly situation. Here is an example.

A doctor invited me and a psychologist for dinner at 8 p.m. After waiting for half-an-hour we rang up and the guest said that he had already started. After another half-an-hour the impatient doctor enquired again, and was told that there was a traffic jam. Meanwhile the psychologist’s secretary, who did not know our earlier conversations, informed us that her boss finished his counselling his patients and just started.

When the uncompromising host confronted, the psychologist took help from his knowledge in human behaviour, “If I tell that I would be delayed by an hour, you will be disappointed. Hope keeps us alive” he said. No comments.

But I still believe that one should cultivate the habit of respecting other’s time and inform the delay due to other important work or traffic jams. It is the best service a cell phone can do to us.

Yandamoori@hotmail.com 

Love and suicides, an article by yandamoori veerendranath,

Love and suicides

I was invited to a college at Warangal to address the emotionally shaken girl students. They were traumatised because within a gap of fifteen days two girls died; one in their hostel premises and the other at the hospital.

The first girl committed suicide in their hostel premises when her lover declined marriage. In the second case the girl rejected to continue the friendship with a guy who attacked her with acid.

My speech on ‘premarital love at student-age’ was accepted in general, except by some girls who are already in love. Here is the essence of it.

Love and infatuation:

“I want to address this problem only from a girl’s point of view and please believe me that I came here not to advocate arranged marriages.” The girls smiled.

Diluting their seriousness, I continued “Let us start with an example. If your younger sister studying eighth class says that she is in love with a tenth class boy, how do you react? Now you think. How many years you are older to her? What is the correct age to fall in love according to you?” I paused.

“You are loved by a guy not because you have some special qualities but just because you reciprocate him. If you say no, he goes to another girl. There are many reasons why a girl reciprocates. Mainly the mistake lies with busily engaged parents. With lack of love, frequent quarrels and admonishments a girl feels to quit the house at the earliest. A small word of solace by an outsider is enough to fall for him. With good parental love, no sane girl falls in love while studying.” I continued.

“In some other cases, the internet and media induce you. Take any movie. Only the heroine has a boyfriend and not her friends. When the boy proposes it satisfies your ego. Like a heroine you should first say ‘No” and after much pleading, say ‘Yes’. I am not taking about all of you, but for a few who suffer from identity crisis”.   As some girls nodded in acceptance, I continued.

“In love you conceal your weakness such as laziness etc and show the best part of your face. Body chemistry plays a vital role leading to infatuation. But no girl accepts it. Her counter-question would be, “How do you know that mine is not love?” Yes.  It is difficult to define love. But that is not our subject here”

 

 

 “It sounds bitter, but for some students ‘love’ is a thrilling time-pass during college days. For most others it is for marriage. In either case, if a girl is in love, unless she is a master in nirvana-yoga, she will not be able to compartmentalise between her ‘studies’ and ‘thoughts of love’. If I advise that you have lot of time for love, some of you may not agree, arguing that love is not pre-planned but suddenly happens. I agree. But don’t you agree with me that your education is more pre-planned? Many of us are from middle class families and our aim is to study and settle well to help our parents first. Isn’t it?” taking them into confidence, I continued.

 “Why a girl does not take her lover home and introduce to elders, or vice-versa?  Reason is simple. You want to wait till you have wings so that you they can fly if elders oppose your marriage. But who is to lose at the end when a boy rejects you due to reasons like denial by his parents, having lost enthusiasm in you or for dowry etc? You know that girls are more sentimental and feel hurt deeply than men. What would you do then?” I questioned.

“My next point is... If your boy friend could cheat his parents who fed him for more than two decades, are you confident that at a later stage he does not do the same with you for a better attraction? I am not against love marriages but my intention is to enlighten you about puppy-love”

Selecting the best:

“Answer my last question. Do you give advance to a car that you want to purchase after four years? No. why? You know that you may get a better model by then. Or... may be you are confident that your financial worth may improve by that time so that you may opt for a luxury car than a small one” he grinned. “For purchasing a vehicle if you can wait for years, why are you in a hurry to select a boy without knowing his future? Who knows, you may get a better model when you go for IAS or post graduation.” There were instantaneous claps in the auditorium. The girls were smiling. The purpose was served.)

STRESS

Two things remain solid in success, your determination to reach the goal and willpower to avoid other attractions. You can’t reach your destination in-time by lingering at the seemingly attractive wayside advertisements.
“Ishti” means the sacred ritual called yagam/yajnam. “Ishta” means desire. Platform for this sacred ceremony is our body. To make the flames stronger and more powerful, we should throw our unwanted desires as firewood into the Homam and burn them.
I mentioned in one of my works: “I don’t know the formula for success, but certainly know for failure: it is the incapacity to prioritise between our nonnegotiable core-values and other fluid priorities”. Studies, exercises, games, spending time with parents etc belong to first category; chatting with friends, watching TV etc fit into the second. Introspect how much time you are allocating between these two groups.
Positive stress:

“Stress is not due to work-load. Even with tons of work if you are never mentally-ill, have time for the people whom you love, laugh merrily, arrows bouncing of you and content with all your decisions, then you can stop reading this book any further” writes Elisabeth Wilson in her preface of the book: “Stress proof your life - 52 brilliant ideas for taking control”.

Three important questions play vital role: A) How I want to live? B) How am I living? C) What am I doing to shift from B to A?
Do you often iron your clothes at midnight having no time during the day? Is your long-time desire to have a relaxed lunch not fulfilled yet? Are you getting so frequently exhausted that you have no time for your own interests? Do you say ‘yes’ to others when your inner voice says ‘no’?
If your answers are affirmative, you require a ‘shift’. But there are many constraints that make the shift difficult, e.g. Inability to give up habits (like laziness and gambling), feeling delicate to break relationships (helplessness to demand a close relative not to interfere in personal matters), Fear of future (it has taken fifteen years for me to leave my job at a bank to become a professional writer) etc.

A bad student feels guilty for his life-style; however much might he show off outwardly. Real thrill lies in the satisfaction that you are going in a correct path. Life is not measured with the quantity of breaths you take, but with the quantity of moments that take your breath away.

In pursuit of happiness, an article by yandamoori veerendranath

In pursuit of happiness

Happiness is a state of mind characterised by love, achievement and contentment. It can be physical or psychological or both; and is derived through our materialistic (or sadistic) and philosophical approaches.

When you chase happiness, it eludes you. Joyfulness is the soul’s natural state and all you need is to eliminate everything that comes between you and your cheerfulness.

Our happiness is not ruined by great catastrophes or fatal errors, but by the repetition of slow destructive little things. The happiness is wrecked in two different forms. Firstly, some people, not being able to differentiate between oasis and water, lose present happiness working for future comforts. Secondly and mainly, many people suffer from sleepless nights not with existing problems but visualising future problems with their imaginary effects.

Quotes and Reality:

We know the story of a donkey that was whipped by the washer-man for brayed in the midnight on seeing a thief when the dog refused to do its job. “One must mind one’s own job” is the morale.

Here is another version. When the donkey advised the dog to bark, it said “I am taking rest”. The donkey that read many “success quotes” without properly understanding the real meaning said “You rust if you take rest” and started braying. The washer-man caught the thief and appreciated the donkey. He realised that it is capable of doing night watching also along with its existing job of carrying cloths.

He dispensed with the dog and increased its “grass-quota” for additional strength to be awake all the night. The donkey was happy remembering another success quote “Dreams require effortless sleep, but aim requires sleepless efforts. The more we do, the more we can do”.

With increased pampering by the employer, the donkey worked happily but as years passed by, it realised that it was squeezed of its charm, health and family. But it was too late.

The morale of this revised story is: One should certainly aim for promotion, identify his core-competency, discover hidden virtues and utilise his talents. But above all, one should comprehend what price he is paying for his success..! The price should never be his happiness.

If you work for 22 hours a day, work happily. But not cursing your-self. Everything should be ok at the end of the day. If it is not, then it’s not the end.