KEEPING UP A PROMISE
This is an interesting
story developed on Characters from Maha Bharata. Dharmaraja was
known for honesty, fidelity and for not lying once in his life time.
While gambling with his step-brother, he lost everything in betting
and had to spend a year in disguise along with his four brothers and
wife.
It was the last day of
their camouflage. As they were preparing to come out of their
concealment and return back to their kingdom, a beggar bowed before
the Raja and asked for help.
“Come tomorrow. I
promise to give you whatever you want” said the erstwhile king.
Overhearing this Bheema went onto the top of a hillock and started
shouting to the five elements (Panchabhootas) “Listen ! Here is a
chance of my brother lying for the first time in his life”.
Surprised Dharmaraja
asked him the reason. Bheema politely replied, “What is the
affirmation that you would be the king by tomorrow? How were you so
sure that both of you will live till you accomplish your promise?
What is the guarantee that the beggar would remain as a beggar till
tomorrow?”
Promise management:
Personality development
motivators and writers give importance to Time management, Space
management, Emotional balance, Stress management etc but somehow do
not give due significance to developing the habit of keeping up
promises.
Promise management is
the foundation for character development. Promises may keep the
relationships, but non-performance will turn them into
enemies. Being trustworthy is a consistent process of choosing
someone else's interests over your own. Not attending missed calls
from friends or promising them to call back when you are busy and
forgetting afterwards are few examples of mismanagement of
relationships.
“Assure only what you
can deliver and deliver more than what you assured” is an old
proverb. But unfortunately we promise according to our hopes and
perform according to realities.
"Don't promise too
much" is the first suggestion given to the newly married couples.
Never make a promise to your spouse of lover that you cannot keep,
no matter how much pressure you feel, no matter how critical the
situation may be. When you can not carry out you may have to lie and
you know that one lie leads to another. Kids hide a report card to
put off the day of reckoning. It is like throwing today’s problem
into tomorrow's court. We act exactly the same when we make an
impossible promise.
Fulfilling a promise is
an utmost pleasure that draws appreciation from others whereas
broken promises are the symbols of incompetence leading to
resentment, anxiety, hate and
distrust.
Prompt
payment of debt
enhances your creditworthiness. Give margin of error while promising
date of repayment as things may go wrong and unexpected difficulties
may surface. Do everything to meet your word, but when that becomes
impossible, admit your inability at the earliest (rather than on the
due date). Instead of luring the creditor with false promises and
irritating him for making rounds around you, commit the next exact
date. Don’t lie to avoid the crisis and to get temporary solace. A
lie is the mother of another hundred lies.
Avoid false promises:
Relationships are built
on trust and commitments, but unfortunately many people take their
friends and spouse granted. A small lie
about a purchase, a cover-up for a forgotten birthday takes a bite
out of their confidence and over years the foundation of trust
begins to crumble.
A husband who promises
his wife everyday to come home early but never turns up, should
realise
that his promise has two-way effect, firstly on his wife for waiting
for long hours and feel frustrated; and secondly on him as he feels
harassed by her repeated phone calls.
If somebody is
promising paradise on earth, consider that he is going to create
hell for you. On the other side, if
you find that you are regularly breaking promises either on your
punctuality or in financial matters, analyze the reasons for your
attitude. A
broken promise suggests three things:
1. That the
person to whom you promised is not a priority in your scheme of
things. 2. With a limitless desire for approval, you are trying to
please too many people beyond your capacity.
3. You do not perceive your promise important enough to be kept.
No person in this word
is busy, only we have different priorities. It happened in my life.
When I knew that my friend was critically ill in a hospital, I rang
up to him and told that I would meet him next day. I could not make
it due to my busy shooting schedule. Two days later he died. I could
never forgive myself.
Last week we were
discussing ‘promise management’. Every promise is based on a faith.
Do you remember elementary school poem on Casablanca, “The boy
stood on the burning deck... Whence all but he had fled...”
(During the Battle of the Nile, a captain of the ship asks his 12
year old son Casablanca to wait till he returns. The ship catches
fire but the boy stands on the deck, does not move an inch and dies
in flames).
Every contract, business deal and commerce in this world runs on a
single word “Promise”. But before all else, we need to keep those
promises when it comes to smaller things like spouse, parent and
child relationships.
To sooth their
tempers many parent say “I promise..." and later forget about it.
But children have a great memory especially with promises.
“Promises are like
crying babies in a theatre. They should be carried out at once” said
Norman Vincent Peale. When you keep up your promises, you happen to
be a good spouse. you are liked and respected for your word. You
turn out to be a good business partner. Opportunities open up. And
above all you can carry a clean conscience and avoid stress.
Time and promise
management:
A person’s attitude can
mainly be judged by his punctuality and respect for other’s time. If
you lie to escape from your promised time and later caught
red-handed, it leads to more embarrassing and ugly situation. Here
is an example.
A doctor invited me and
a psychologist for dinner at 8 p.m. After waiting for half-an-hour
we rang up and the guest said that he had already started. After
another half-an-hour the impatient doctor enquired again, and was
told that there was a traffic jam.
Meanwhile
the psychologist’s
secretary, who did not know our earlier conversations, informed us
that her boss finished his counselling his patients and just
started.
When the uncompromising
host confronted, the psychologist took help from his knowledge in
human behaviour, “If I tell that I would be delayed by an hour, you
will be disappointed. Hope keeps us alive” he said. No comments.
But I still believe
that one should cultivate the habit of respecting other’s time and
inform the delay due to other important work or traffic jams. It is
the best service a cell phone can do to us.
Yandamoori@hotmail.com
